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Recently, one of my colleagues committed suicide (pic in the public post to follow). The reason – her parents didn’t agree to get her married to the guy she was in love with.
It kind of shook me up a little. Happens every time actually (this is third such incident I’ve seen). To realize that a person who was talking/working with you just a couple of days ago is no more.
Why did she do it then? After all, she’s not some uneducated woman dependent on someone. She was well prepared there would be some resistances at home right from the start. She even saved money for her own marriage. And then we get this news.
But is committing suicide the answer? This is a hot topic of discussion in our office right now. Most of them tend to agree that what she’s done was stupid. Maybe it is. But I don’t think many realize that such decisions aren’t taken with a rational head. And most of the times, we see wide array of people commit suicide – age, gender, family, financial or society backgrounds. Nothing matters. Nothing.
I always believed that what one person considers as ‘painful’ might not mean a damn thing to the person next to them. Forget about people breaking down because of heartbreaks. Ever wondered why few school kids commit suicide when they fail in examinations? Trivial thing, isn’t it? Lose your life for a bloody examination of 100 marks? Maybe for the kid the failure/pain is so unbearable, it shakes the very foundation of his/her existence. Again, as I said, the “pain” is relative here. You and I might say, “That’s stupid”, but in the shoes of the kid, it isn’t. The conditions, the circumstances, every thing around you is so devastating, the good side of things (if they’re relevant anymore) doesn’t come into your vision. I call that the ABP – the Absolute Breaking Point. After that, everything around you is just irrelevant.
Maybe it’s like asking a guy to put one of his fingers in fire for just one minute. He does and he undergoes excruciating pain. Every second hurts. Asking him to hold on doesn’t work, even if it’s just for a minute. He can’t hold on any longer even if his life depended on it. No pep talk or motivation speech helps either. “It doesn’t matter if you lose a finger. There are nine other fingers!” Equivalent to saying “It doesn’t matter if you lose a loved one. You have your family and friends with you!”
The fact is – friends, family and the entire eco-system (just like nine other fingers) means a lot to anyone. It’s the pain they undergo at THAT point of time is something which tests the ABP. Some people are blessed with high ABP, they do manage to keep their finger burning for a minute and will overcome things. Some of them, unfortunately, don’t. Everyone goes through rough times. Whether they reach their ABP or not, is left unto them.
All said and done, I think humans have mastered the art of complicating anything they do. And I do at times wish if life was lot simpler though. I really do.
OMG! I shudder everytime I hear about a suicide.
When somebody feels that they are worthless because they haven’t got something they wanted so much for their life or they went through some excruciating pain that they cant take it anymore, I imagine what it would have been on them.
I wish these people have more of understanding friends and family so that the thoughts can be curbed to some extent.
May she rest in peace !
Even though I don’t know this person, I was a little hurt when I read your later post. Truly sorry that you have lost a friend. Truly sorry that things turned out like this.
Sucks… Sorry to hear this, my condolences.
I had to work pretty hard to get things to work out for me.
Suicidal tendency is the worst manifestation of human kind. I have seen couple of such cases. Luckily they survived. The whole marriage process in our society needs to be a bit more liberal.
I agree with your argument that pain is relative. What we feel is silly as a bystander maybe the very reason for existence for someone else. As far as your friend is concerned, I know she is a well-educated, sensible human being. Probably she had reached her ABP when she realized her folks, whom she loved, trusted and followed all the time had betrayed her in the most trying moment of her life. Maybe we feel she should have talked more, convinced them etc etc. But for her, the only reason that her folks don’t trust her judgement and their own upbringing might have been a breaking point.
Sorry. Had a similar experience on my side. Same result.